


Hey, Neighbors

by agentx13 (rebelle_elle)



Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Apartment AU, Fluff, Gen, Humor, fluffy goodness, sharon carter appreciation month
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-25 21:05:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6210124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelle_elle/pseuds/agentx13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apartment AU in which most everyone lives in the same building with a couple exceptions. Sharon & Natasha are roommates, so are Maria and Pepper, their upstairs neighbors. Steve and Bucky live across the hall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alarm Clock

Natasha froze as her roommate’s door flew open. “Sharon? You okay?”

Natasha sat on her stool at the kitchen counter, watching Sharon stomp toward the door. Her hair was askew, her nightgown wrinkled. Natasha swallowed her coffee with a gulp. She could hear a faint beeping noise emanating from Sharon’s room, but it wasn’t Sharon’s alarm. “Oh, crap. Sharon...”

“Don’t,” Sharon snapped. “This is the last fucking goddamn time, I swear to God.” She wrenched open their apartment door, revealing the neighbor across the hall who had just stepped out of his own apartment. “ _Move,_ ” she snapped.

Immediately, the man hopped to the side, then realized he was more in her way than before. He hopped to the other side. His only thanks was a scowl as Sharon stormed past him.

“Sorry about that,” Natasha said cordially. Getting a better look at him, she slid off her stool and leaned against the doorframe. He moved back toward his doorway as she zeroed in. “She’s not a morning person. How old are you?”

“Twenty?”

She looked him up and down. Blond, muscular. Handsome. Twenty despite his uncertainty. She took a long, slow sip of her coffee. “Single?”

His eyes widened. “Uh-”

“Say yes.”

“Yes?”

Natasha nodded. “I can work with that. Name?”

“Um. I- I was just going jogging, and- I-” He backed up a couple steps, and she watched every move, amused. “I-”

“That’s fine. I’ll find out anyway. Have fun on your run.”

“Thanks.” He still hesitated, and Natasha grinned. She understood what he was thinking; he’d backed up the wrong way. The stairs were to her back, and he’d have to get past her to reach them. She suspected that might be difficult for him, given how nervous he was. She knew she’d played a part in that, and she was tempted to keep playing. She took another sip of her coffee.

“Want me to go inside so you don’t have to pass me on your way to the stairs?”

He took a deep breath and set his shoulders. “No, I’m- I’m fine, thank you.”

She grinned and watched as he walked past, slow coming and fast going. Yeah. She could work with that.

* * *

Sharon slammed her fist against the door, only to jump when it opened right away. She stared at a thin woman with strawberry hair and a tailored suit, suddenly all too aware of her bird’s nest hair and wrinkled nightgown and bare feet. This woman did _not_ go to the college around the corner, that was for sure.

“You’re here about Maria,” the woman said.

“Yes. I live downstairs, and-”

“And her alarm is blaring, has been for the past forty minutes, and you’re sick of it. I understand completely. Come on in.” The woman turned and strode across the room in killer heels, leaving Sharon to follow in her wake. 

The apartment was infinitely cleaner than hers and Natasha’s, Sharon thought, glancing around. Everything was white with shades of gray and blue, all sharp angles and glinting chrome. Downstairs, they hadn’t even cleaned off the stains from when they’d moved in. Here, the hardwood floors shone. Downstairs, Sharon wasn’t sure if their floors were linoleum or if they were hardwood, too, and just very, very dirty. Here, the couch was stylish and pristine. She and Natasha had found their couch on the curb. The windows were wide open and spotless, unlike their apartment, where Natasha had thrown mismatched blankets up so they could watch the television without glare. 

The woman stopped at a door and knocked sharply. “Maria? You have to get up. You’re bothering the neighbors again.” There was no answer, and the woman gave Sharon an apologetic look. “She sleeps with the door locked so no one disturbs her. I’m _so_ sorry about this.”

Sharon was in no mood to go back to her bedroom and listen to a blaring alarm until Maria decided otherwise. She moved beside the woman and studied the lock. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Of course. First door on the- well. We probably have the same floor plan, so-”

Sharon nodded, already on her way. At least the bathroom wasn’t spotless; makeup, lotions, and hair accessories littered the counter. It still looked far cleaner than hers and Natasha’s, but it was good to know their neighbors were human. She picked out what she needed and moved back to the lock. Within seconds, she straightened and opened the door.

“How did you-”

She pressed her finger to her lips. Knowing Sharon’s luck, this would be the moment when Maria woke up, and Sharon didn’t intend to get caught before she’d turned off the damnable alarm clock. She crept to the bedside table, half an eye on the mound under the covers. When she reached the clock, she turned it over in her hands. No way to quiet it gradually. Fine. She steeled herself and gave the cord a tug.

Seconds stretched while she watched the figure on the bed. Maria turned, then went still again, and Sharon and moved away from the bed, walking backwards to keep an eye on her.

Sharon closed the door behind her, locked it, and handed the pins she’d used back to the woman.

“How did you _do_ that?” the woman asked.

“My aunt made something of an impression on me,” Sharon admitted. She glanced at the bedroom door, then headed in the opposite direction.

The woman grinned as she followed. “I think I’d better stay on your good side. I’m Pepper.”

“Sharon.”

“Nice to meet you, Sharon. Maybe, when circumstances are better, we could all get to know one another better? Maria is only like this in the mornings, I swear.”

Sharon thought of her disarrayed hair, rumpled clothes, and bare feet. “So am I,” she promised.

“Good.” Pepper’s grin widened. “Then it’s a deal. Have a good day, Sharon!” 

Sharon found herself in the hall, facing a closed door, and she blinked before heading back to the stairs. Upon reaching her apartment, she headed straight to the window and pulled back the blanket. “Our upstairs neighbors are Pepper and Maria,” she told Natasha, who was currently drinking coffee in front of the television. “Maria isn’t a morning person.” She ignored Natasha’s scoff that clearly said Sharon wasn’t, either. “And Pepper wants to hang out sometime.” She forced the window open.

Natasha twisted to look at her. “Are you going to hang out with her?”

Sharon shrugged and twisted the cord around the alarm clock. There was a trash can on the sidewalk. If she aimed just right... “I think it’s both of us. And maybe? They don’t seem psycho. Well, Pepper doesn’t seem psycho.”

“That means she’s psycho,” Natasha pointed out. “Just better at hiding it.”

Sharon tossed the alarm clock out the window. Damn. Missed. And there were too many pieces to ever think the alarm clock could ever be put back together. Oh, _darn._ “So our kind of girl?”

“Mm.” Natasha watched, amused, as Sharon closed the window and replaced the blanket. She turned her eyes back to the morning news. “I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything.”

She headed back to her bedroom. “Good survival plan. Another good plan? Leave some damn coffee for me.” Sharon heard what sounded like a laugh, but by the time she’d turned around, Natasha was the picture of innocence. Sharon scowled and closed her door behind her.

Finally, cool sheets against her cheek, tucked in and snug, she sighed in contentment.

Above her, she heard someone yell. “PEPPER? WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ALARM CLOCK?”

Sharon rolled over and groaned. This was going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky help Sam and Ian move in!

“You really don’t have to do this, Steve,” Ian insisted, feeling his way blindly for the next step. The dresser was big enough that he couldn’t see around it. Worse, it was heavy. Heavy enough that he regretted picking it out at the Goodwill around the corner. Maybe he should have lived out of cardboard boxes for a couple years instead, like he had originally intended.

Steve waited, his back muscles straining as he held up the other end of the dresser. But then, it was his fault they were carrying this damn thing anyway; Steve was the one who had insisted he have real furniture. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re like family to me.”

Ian groaned. “Don’t get sappy, or I’ll call you ‘Dad.’”

“Don’t mind if you do, son.”

He groaned again. “Are you grinning? I can hear you grinning. Stop grinning.”

In answer, Ian heard a chuckle. He lifted the dresser in response, but Steve adjusted the weight and kept climbing upward.

Sam, carrying a lamp and trash bag of clothes, stopped beside them and surveyed the scene. “I’d offer to help,” he said apologetically, “but it looks like you’ve got it. On your left!”

“On my right, actually,” Steve said as Sam bolted past them. “Since I’m turned around.”

Sam called back, “On your _right,_ then!” and disappeared upstairs.

“Here,” a quiet voice said, and Ian turned his face to look at Bucky, Steve’s roommate. Bucky grabbed one side of the dresser with his hand, bracing the dresser against his shoulder, and Ian slid to hold the other side. With them on one end and Steve on the other, they made it all the way to just inside the door before anyone spoke again. 

“You guys put that thing down and come over and meet our neighbors,” Sam urged from farther down the hall.

“Give us a minute, Sam.” Steve steered the dresser into the room Ian had chosen, and the three of them set it against the wall before standing up with a groan. Bucky rubbed his shoulder and sent Steve a warning look before Steve could ask if he was okay. With half a nod, Steve led the way back out, and Ian followed, wishing he could communicate silently like that with someone one day.

Sam stood aside when he saw them. “Guys, this is Natasha, and this is Sharon. Ladies, this is Steve, Ian, and Bucky.”

“We’ve met,” Steve said, stopping short and looking a little embarrassed. He seemed to find the walls and floor much more interesting all of a sudden.

The red-haired woman looked him up and down and gave a nod. “Did we ever.”

“Did we?” the blonde asked.

The redhead leaned toward her. “Last week when you went to yell at our neighbors. Our _other_ neighbors, I mean. The alarm clock?”

The blonde’s cheeks turned pink. “Aw, crap. Right. Um. Sorry about that. I’m... not really a morning person.”

Steve grinned, though it wasn’t the easy grin that Ian was accustomed to seeing. “That’s fine. Neighbors see things, I guess.”

Her cheeks turned redder.

Bucky cleared his throat. “What the moron is trying to say is that everything’s fine. Because if he hasn’t been good and neighborly, I’ve got some stories about what a punk he is that I won’t hesitate to spread around.” He jostled Steve’s arm.

Steve grunted and stared at a spot on the wall. Ian had never seen him so interested in wallpaper.

“Do tell,” the redhead drawled as Sam chuckled.

Bucky shook his head. “I won’t hesitate when the time’s right, I mean. Bucky.” He stepped forward and held out his arm.

“Natasha,” the redhead said, giving the hand a firm shake.

“Sharon,” the blonde added. Her handshake wasn’t as firm, and as soon as her hand was free, she smoothed down her hair self-consciously.

Bucky raised an eyebrow and glanced at Steve, who was looking at anyone but Natasha or Sharon. “Right. So... Steve and I live across the hall, and Sam and Ian are moving in next door to you. Well, Ian’s moving in. Sam’s... going to do something eventually, I guess. But he’s supposed to live there after Steve, Ian, and I get everything moved in.”

Sam’s eyes widened. “Whoa. I told them the first part already. And I moved that lamp in there, mister. Check that out. Plugged in and everything.”

“Check out how it weighs less than a pound? Yeah, I noticed. Meanwhile, you made Ian, Steve, and me carry the dresser.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll go get the mattresses, you big baby.” He headed for the stairs, turning back before he stepped downward. “Anybody want to help?”

“Have fun!” Natasha called out cheerfully.

“I’ll help!” Steve said quickly. He was out of sight before Sam had even turned to go downstairs.

Bucky sighed. “Sorry. He has no idea how to talk to girls.”

Sharon smoothed her hair down again.

“Anyway, Sam and Ian are good friends of his, so when the place next to you opened up, he passed along the news.” He nodded to Ian to urge him to come over. “Sam volunteers at the VA and is taking classes at the university, and Ian’s one of Steve’s kids at the camp. They shouldn’t be any trouble. Right, kid?”

Ian rolled his eyes. “I’m not a kid. I’m eighteen.”

“And what an old and wisened eighteen you are,” Bucky muttered. He turned back to Sharon and Natasha. “We’ll be right across the hall, though, if you need anything.”

“Sure.” Natasha grabbed Sharon’s hand. “Let us know when everybody’s settled, and we’ll get pizza.” She pulled Sharon toward the stairs. “Welcome to the neighborhood, kid!”

“ _Ian,_ ” he corrected.

He didn’t hear anything in response and turned to glower at Bucky.

Bucky held up his hands. “Hey, man. People used to call _me_ ‘kid.’ I’m too old for that now, so it’s on you.”

Ian’s jaw dropped. “You got them to call me that on purpose!”

Bucky grinned. “Welcome to your first apartment, neighbor. Let’s get you moved in, okay?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria and Pepper meet Sharon and Natasha over coffee, where they meet Pepper's boss's son Tony and his friend Rhodey.

Maria stared at Sharon and Natasha over her coffee cup. “So,” she said, her voice dangerously low. “Which one of you picked the lock to my room and stole my alarm clock?”

Sharon and Natasha glanced at each other. Natasha made a face. Sharon had dragged her along to meet their neighbors, and Natasha had only agreed because Sharon had insisted she meet Pepper. If Natasha hadn’t known better, she would have thought Sharon had a bit of a crush. Having met Pepper, though, Natasha got it.

Natasha liked Pepper. She didn’t think anyone could help but like Pepper. Even on a Saturday, Pepper wore nice clothes and sensible but fancy shoes, and her hair was pristine and strawberry red, and gingers had to stick together. Everything about Pepper said that Pepper knew what she was doing. She was capable, confident. Natasha liked capable and confident. Plus, Pepper had paid for everyone’s coffee.

But Maria wasn’t Pepper.

Sharon made a face back. Sorry for dragging her along, her expression said, but they were taking too long to answer, and Sharon sure as hell wasn’t going to answer her- Sharon wasn’t the better liar here. They could _not_ tell Maria the truth. Maria was scarier than Pepper.

Natasha grumbled at her. Fine.

She looked back to Maria and took a measured sip of her coffee. “Someone stole your alarm clock?”

Maria frowned. “I already know about it, you know.”

Sharon made a faint gurgling sound to Natasha’s right.

Pepper sighed. “Sorry, sorry. I was just so impressed, and when I told Maria we had to meet you... I needed a way to get her to agree.”

Maria smirked at them.

Sharon looked to Natasha and made another face. Maria, it turned out, was just as pristine and thin and put-together as Pepper, but with black hair and a sportier style that said she knew how to use punching bags and that sometimes, the punching bags were people. Sharon wished her own hair could be that flat and well-behaved.

Natasha had no sympathy for Sharon. Natasha’s curls were so unruly that she sometimes tried to straighten it to no avail. Natasha made a point of not looking at other women’s hair.

“So. No questions asked,” Maria announced. “But I need my alarm clock back.”

Sharon and Natasha exchanged another look. They both knew where the alarm clock had been Monday morning. Whether it was still there or not was irrelevant; wherever it was, it was in pieces. It had gone to the great bedside table in the sky.

Which they didn’t think Maria would appreciate.

Shit.

Maria lifted her eyes over Sharon’s shoulder and gave a low whistle. “Don’t look now, Pep, but that guy you hate is at the counter.”

Pepper, without a word and without looking, leaned forward and lifted a menu so that it hid her face.

Natasha and Sharon, however, did look.

“Who?” Natasha asked.

Pepper studied the menu with intensity. “I got an internship at a tech company, and one guy there is... difficult to work with.”

“Who is it?” One of the guys at the counter, the one with the goatee, had overheard Pepper and had moved closer toward their table. Sharon and Natasha glanced at each other.

Pepper closed her eyes and gathered herself before lowering the menu. She smiled thinly.

“Tony. Hi. Ladies, this is Tony. Tony, this is Maria, Sharon, and Pepper.”

Tony grinned at them wolfishly and leaned over the table to shake hands with each of them. His eyes lingered on Natasha. “Have I seen you around here before?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow. Who, her?

“Tony,” Pepper warned. “Please don’t hit on my friends.”

He straightened. “Just being friendly. So who’s difficult to work with? I can fire them, you know.”

Pepper took a slow sip of her coffee. Her eyes slowly slid over to Maria as she considered how to answer.

“I think it’s you, man.”

Pepper’s shoulders relaxed. “Rhodey.” She smiled at him and nodded to the others. “This is Rhodey, Tony’s best friend. Rhodey, this is Maria, Sharon, and Pepper.”

“Nice to meet you,” Rhodey said, nodding to them.

“How can it be me?” Tony demanded. “I only ask you to get coffee for me sometimes.”

Pepper frowned. “And arrange rides for you, and find out what clubs are open when. You asked me to send a fruit basket to someone named Maya Hansen once because- well. You know why. I do more than get coffee for you, Tony, and what’s more, none of that is my job. I have a job already, and it isn’t as your personal assistant.”

He frowned with more intensity than she did, and her frown deepened in response. Sharon and Natasha looked to Maria. Was this some sort of contest they weren’t aware of?

“Maybe you _should_ work for me, then,” Tony said firmly. “I’ve always gotten a table when I wanted it since I had you taking care of that stuff.”

Pepper took another slow sip of her coffee, her expression sour.

“I know how much you get paid,” he wheedled. “Bet you live in that rent-controlled place around the corner.”

“Tony,” Rhodey warned.

Tony shrugged. “What? I’m just saying. I could pay her enough that she could find a roach-free place. Maybe ones with real windows.”

“Our windows are fine,” Maria interjected. “And the roaches learned to stay away once we left some of them staked on toothpicks in the hall.”

Tony stared at her, unsure if she was joking.

Maria flashed her teeth. “Poor people know how to communicate with roaches.”

“Were we not supposed to eat those roaches?” Sharon asked, catching on. “I was so poor and so hungry... I thought you guys were helping feed everyone.”

Tony’s expression was a cross between horrified and sulking.

Rhodey covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook.

“What are real windows?” Maria continued. “Are those the things that you put on walls to brighten up the place? The pictures in those weird boxes?”

Sharon whistled. “You guys can afford those frame things? We just use the pictures that the police hand out. The portrait ones with the people standing in front of the bars? They have new ones every week.” She stared mournfully at Tony. “We’re so poor.”

“So poor,” Maria echoed.

Tony glanced at Rhodey, who was making choking noises in an attempt not to laugh, and glared. “Really, Rhodey?”

Rhodey grinned at Maria and Sharon. “You know those one percenters. No understanding of reality.”

Tony glowered harder at his best friend. He ignored the barista as his name was called and turned to Pepper. “You’re wasted in reception,” he said firmly. “Just saying.”

Rhodey shrugged as Tony walked away. “Sorry about that, Pep.”

Pepper shook herself as if recalling herself to the conversation. She’d been staring after Tony in shock, and she nodded too quickly as she registered what Rhodey had said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“See you guys around,” he told the others before following Tony.

Maria finished off her coffee and set it aside. “Um. Pep? How are we taking that one?”

“No idea,” Pepper said slowly. “He’s usually much more... immature and offensive.”

“And this time, ‘You’re wasted in reception,'” Maria echoed.

Pepper nodded. “Not what I was expecting.”

Maria nodded. “I could always-”

Pepper cleared her throat. “But enough about Tony. Where were we again?”

Sharon and Natasha glanced at each other but didn’t volunteer to remind the other what they’d been talking about.

Maria smiled thinly. “So... about my alarm clock.”

Sharon flinched. Damn it. “Buy you a new one,” she muttered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SO MUCH NAKEDNESS.

“Our apartment doesn’t need to look like theirs,” Natasha hissed from the kitchen counter. She ate another spoonful of cereal and eyed her roommate warily.

“I don’t want it to look like theirs,” Sharon argued from atop a chair behind the curtains. “I just... want it to look clean, you know?”

“It _is_ clean,” Natasha countered. “There’s no blood. No bodies. We took the trash out so the smell isn’t as bad. Nothing’s sticking to anything else. Clean.”

Sharon rolled her eyes and kept scrubbing at a stubborn spot on the windows. She’d already cleaned one window and was inclined to agree with Natasha that the place was clean enough. She had no idea how Pepper and Maria managed. But the more Natasha needled her, the more stubborn she became.

She caught movement across the street and paused. She blinked and peered closer. “Oh my God.”

“What?” Natasha straightened at the sound of Sharon’s voice.

Sharon cleared her throat. “Could you- could you text Pepper for me? Tell her Tony Stark is in the apartment across the street.”

Natasha frowned but grabbed Sharon’s phone to send the text; her own phone was all the way in the living room, and she wasn’t going to leave her stool to get it. And hell, it was Sharon’s request to do this anyway. “Got it.”

“And make sure she knows he’s naked.”

Though they didn’t hear Pepper’s phone go off on the floor above, they did hear heels clack quickly from the kitchen to the window, followed by a muffled shout of, “TONY, _NO._ ”

Natasha frowned at Sharon. She still stood at the window, unmoving. “Sharon. _Sharon._ What are you _doing?_ ”

Sharon stayed frozen. “I’m- I’m afraid that if I move, he’ll see me.”

Natasha groaned and dropped her face into her hands. “I’m so embarrassed by you right now.”

* * *

It was when Steve passed the kitchen to check on his breakfast that he noticed Bucky’s lunch on the counter. A quick search of the apartment confirmed that no, Bucky _wasn’t_ there, and Steve ran to the hall. Bucky had been home five minutes ago, maybe he could catch him. “Bucky?” he called down the stairs. “Bucky, you forgot your lunch again!”

Hearing nothing, he jogged back to the apartment. Phone call it was, then. Or maybe Steve could find some time to swing by Bucky’s place and drop off his lunch.

The knob slipped in his hand, his shoulder hitting the still-closed door.

Steve twisted the knob again. And again. No doubt about it, the door was locked.

And no doubt about it, Steve was still wearing only a towel from having just gotten out of the shower.

* * *

For all Tony’s crap that she put up with every day, and for the additional mountain of crap that she was dealing with this morning, Pepper thought she was remarkably calm. Given the circumstances, she _was_ calm. She hadn’t killed anyone.

Yet.

She spoke quietly into her phone, her voice low and dangerous. “Tony. We both know I can see you. Now get your gluteus minimus into some clothes, or so help me, Tony. What are you even doing there? And why aren’t you picking up your phone, Tony? I know you always have it with- Never mind. It’s not like you have any pockets right now. Not that I want to know about. But rest assured, we _will_ talk about this, Tony.”

She hung up and dialed another number. She didn’t get paid enough for this crap.

* * *

“Now she’s calling me,” Rhodey complained. Throughout Tony’s spectacle - which Rhodey had tried unsuccessfully to stop - he’d kept as far away from the windows as he could.

Tony started doing lunges. “No rule says you have to pick it up.”

“I can’t not pick it up! She’ll know!”

Looking at him over his shoulder, Tony asked, “How would she know?”

“She’s Pepper Potts,” Rhodey reminded him. “She’s the NSA of receptionists.”

Tony had to admit, he had a point.

Rhodey took a breath and accepted the call. “Hi, Pepper!” His tone was too cheerful. “What can I-”

“DON’T LET HER KNOW YOU’RE HERE!” Tony shouted.

Rhodey closed his eyes and sighed. As he heard the dial tone, his expression turned to one of pain. “Man, you’re going to get me killed. You know that, right?”

“You know you love me,” Tony reminded him, facing the window again. He grinned brazenly and waved across the street.

* * *

“He’s doing jumping jacks,” Sharon said. “Oh my God.”

“I know, right?” Natasha mused. “Who does those anymore? Squats are way more effective. He should have done more of those.”

“ _Natasha._ ”

Natasha smirked before looking far too innocent for her own good.

* * *

“ _What_ ,” Maria hissed as she stuck her head out of her bedroom, “is going on?”

Pepper pointed wordlessly across the street, fuming too much to answer.

Maria surveyed the scene, unimpressed. “Right. Be right back.”

She emerged from the bedroom a minute later, dressed and with her hair brushed. She glanced at Pepper, whose hand was now shaking so much she’d given up dialing another number.

“ _Lunges,_ ” Pepper grated.

Maria nodded and left.

* * *

In the hall, Steve tried pushing against the door some more. For some inane reason, he even tried knocking. He knew no one was inside. Why was he knocking?

And then he heard a scuffing sound on the stairs and turned to see one of the neighbors, a pretty woman with dark hair, give him an odd look before continuing on.

He groaned and knocked again before he realized that the apartment had no more people in it than it had a minute ago.

* * *

Across the street, Rhodey heard the knock and pulled the door open. “I’m sorry,” he said emphatically. “It’s not easy to stop him.”

Maria ignored him and walked inside. “Tony. Get some clothes on before I tase you.”

Tony did a squat. “I don’t see a taser, Maria.”

Pepper was too kind to have entirely mastered the steely expression that promised dismemberment and death. Maria had mastered it long ago.

Tony gulped and inched toward the bedroom door. “It’s kind of breezy here anyway.”

* * *

“What are you doing?” Sharon announced, panicked.

Natasha kept flicking the flashlight out the clean window. “Getting his attention. I want to see if he’ll wave again.”

In an instant, Sharon had thrown herself off the chair and had run all the way to the door. “ _No,_ ” she said emphatically. “No, no. NO. No! _No._ ”

As if to prove her point and get as far away as possible, she wrenched open the door.

And stared, open-mouthed, at the neighbor in the hallway who was currently wearing nothing but a towel and damp hair. He stared back, and their expressions each mirrored the other’s growing horror.

Sharon slammed the door shut.

“WHY IS EVERYBODY NAKED?” she shouted. She hugged the wall, not noticing or not caring that Natasha had covered the windows, and disappeared into her room.

Curious, Natasha opened the door and smirked as she took in a towel-clad Steve.

Steve made a strangled sound deep in his throat.

“Jumping jacks,” Natasha explained, knowing it would explain nothing. She closed the door and went to finish her cereal. Not the worst way to get the day going, she thought to herself. Not the worst way at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Might be an ongoing thing; we'll see how it goes. As it is, I've got four chapters so far. In chapter two, Steve and Bucky help Sam and Ian (Steve's adopted son from the comics) move into the apartment next door to Sharon and Natasha. Chapter three, Sharon and Natasha get coffee with Maria and Pepper and are taken by surprise. I can't tell you anything about chapter four except that it's my favorite and involves jumping jacks. Hope you like it!


End file.
